THE EVOLUTION OF EVERY TIME I DIE?
To this day, historians have not reached a unanimous consensus regarding the birth date of one of underground rock music's most important finds- the calcified remains of a winged, pony-tailed, drunk, hilarious yet sincere, musically inclined and mind-blowingly awesome creature known as Every Time I Die- excavated in the beautifully scenic and fertile landscapes of Buffalo, NY. What makes this find so remarkable is that according to bioscientists and evolutionary experts, the beast did not DESCEND from anything, nor is it known to have a progeny, though some theologians have gone so far as to claim it came to life when Sam Elliot put out his cigarette in Robert Plants blood. While many field researchers cite its official date of origin somewhere in 1998 when it recorded it's demo, further scrutiny by local pundits reveal that the Every Time I Die spotted by hard rock music fans across the world during the past 5 years is in fact the AWESOMEST version of the species, and is far more musically adept and way more drunk than its original manifestation. Its last known release to date, THE BIG DIRTY, is quoted by important scientists and musical critics as being "the single most valuable contribution to the unifying of musical creationism AND musical evolution EVER."